The name of this post was inspired by my friend, Don Whitney’s book, Ten Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health. It's a great read by a great author. Dr. Whitney’s questions made me want to apply them to my marriage.
Whether your marriage is struggling or thriving, I think we can strengthen our marriages when we ask good questions. Here are 10 questions to diagnose your marital health.
Counsel in a person’s heart is deep water; but a person of understanding draws it out. —Proverbs 20:5
10 Questions To Diagnose Your Marital Health
Now, go through these questions with your spouse to see how you are doing in your marriage:
- Is our marriage characterized by grace and forgiveness? Why or why not?
- Are we sharing our day-to-day struggles and celebrations with one another?
- Are we sharing details about our emotional state and our spiritual journey on a consistent basis?
- Can we talk about issues we disagree about without it launching us into an argument?
- Are we spending weekly undistracted one-on-one time together?
- Is our sex life mutually pleasurable?
- Does sex contribute to us feeling closer to one another and to Jesus?
- Are we both in pursuit of Jesus Christ through prayer, reading of the Word, and meditation?
- Are we periodically doing fun and enjoyable things together?
- Do we live in a state of gratitude for one another? Or do we focus on each other’s shortcomings?
If you graded me and quickly found a question or two that should be on the list, be careful not to do the same thing with your spouse. : ) Seriously, there are other important indicators, but these questions are a good place to start.
Grace Marriage Mission
Review this list with your spouse, discuss each question, and diagnose your marital health.
Brad Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.