Looking back, we both agree that we could’ve done better. We should’ve paid more attention to the signals and did something to fix or address the troubles we had at the time.
If we had done this, maybe things wouldn’t have gotten out of order. We've learned some things over the years. Learn from our mistakes instead of making them yourself. Here are the five ways you can know how to save your marriage from divorce.
“...but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.” —James 1:14
How to save your marriage from divorce
#1 Spend quality time with each other.
#2 Learn more about marriage.
#3 Spend time with other Christian couples.
#4 Pray and enjoy devotion together.
#5 Make self-development a priority.
#1 Spend quality time with each other.
Spend more time together. Make it intentional, go out for date nights, set time aside for just the two of you. We didn’t do this a lot because we invested most of our time on other things and people. We didn’t really think it was a priority to spend time together. We thought it was guaranteed the other person would always be around.
Once we make spending time together with each other a priority, there was one time when we only had $10 between us, but we went to the movies and spent $3. We even used a coupon for dessert. It was a great night for both of us. Today, going to Costco together or simply going out together, no kids, no nothing—just us talking, laughing, listening to music...that's a date for us. A date doesn’t have to be something expensive. The point is to make time together with each other a priority
#2 Learn more about marriage.
Learn and pour into your marriage. The same way you study and obsess over your fantasy football team and prepare for it each week, put that same energy into your marriage. Marriage is like a car, complete with all the routine tune-ups and servicing. It's more about the internals and not just washing the outside.
The focus should be on what keeps it moving and running. Apply preventive care to your marriage too. The repairs might not be because there's a problem, but you should hold each other accountable to put in the work together.
Get the Book: The Battle We Must Win.
#3 Spend time with other Christian couples.
Attend marriage retreats and sharpen each other by surrounding yourselves with godly couples. The free time we get while on retreats is usually spent hiking a trail or the park with other couples. These times are priceless. We often learn so much by talking, catching up on teachings, or getting to know each other.
Such a setting makes opening up to other couples easier. We realize that while you might think you’re the only one with problems, you’ll find that others have faced the issue and are happier now despite their problems.
#4 Pray and enjoy devotion together.
It is easy to get out of doing this step. Either you get into the habit of forgetting to do it or you never get around to it. The same way you notice and mind when you’re not eating or drinking enough, this is also how you need to know when you’re not praying together as a couple. Take time to build your spiritual intimacy with Christ and your spouse through devotion and reading together.
#5 Make self-development a priority.
To grow closer together, get to know who you are and how you can improve. We reconciled several years ago, and we both learned it’s essential to self-evaluate. We can't always look at each other to make sure we're doing the right thing. Most couples set unrealistic expectations for their partners, we both realize now that only God can match our expectations.
Are we afraid an affair might happen again? Sure, temptations will always exist. We encourage you to be watchful and pray. Even though we defeated the enemy, he will always look for a way back in.
According to James 1: 13-15 says, “When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”
Find more from Rodney and Tiffany
Want more marriage tips? Find more marriage help from The Bussell's on their YouTube Channel The Battle We Must Win.
