Have you lost that lovin’ feeling? It is easy to do when life seems to suck all our energy and time away. Being intentional in our marriage is not an easy feat.
At Grace Marriage, we strongly suggest a weekly date night for all married couples. It doesn’t matter if...
- you’ve been married five years or 50 years.
- you have no children or 10 children.
- you are in the busiest season of your career or retired.
Date night is a special, set aside time for connection and romance in the midst of real life.
The way you “do” date night leaves a lot of room for freedom. Some couples like to be active on date nights and take a hike or play a sport. Some couples enjoy a relaxing dinner and movie. Other couples enjoy the chance to grab coffee at a local coffee shop and play board games together.
No matter how you “do” date night, it is important that you both are intentional about the time you have together. Use the time to emotionally connect through good conversation. It is easy to fall into the habit of discussing kids, schedule, work, finances, or home projects. Guard your date time against these subjects in order to connect more fully. Use the time to nourish each other’s souls and communicate your love effectively.
Here are 5 questions that you can ask your spouse on your next date night:
1. What has God taught you this week and how?
It is important to discuss your relationship with the Lord with your best friend (your spouse). Talking about what the Lord is teaching you can be an encouraging conversation for both parties. It brings Jesus glory when we share our “God moments” with other people.
2. How can I love you better this week than I did last week?
This question can be a difficult one, so ask it with humility and grace. Being honest and open in marriage makes us feel vulnerable and exposed. Vulnerability is sometimes seen as a weakness or a negative trait. But, in marriage, vulnerability is a strength and a point of connection.
3. How can I serve you this week?
Serving our spouse is an honor and a gift. We don’t always see it that way, but God designed our marriages to be a picture of His love for the church. He gave his life for us, and we need to have that same posture toward our spouse.
4. What would you like to do for our next date night?
This question can produce joyful anticipation for things to come. It is hard to find things to look forward to in our everyday lives, but fun date nights should always be something that is anticipated positively.
5. What are some dreams you have for the future?
Both for yourself, our marriage, and our family? How can I help you accomplish these dreams? What can we do in the short term to work toward these goals and dreams?
I love to dream with my husband, and I hope you love to dream with your spouse too. It is always fun to talk about our long-term dreams that may seem completely out of reach and our short-term ones that can be accomplished in the near future. Dreaming together connects us in a way nothing else can.
These five questions will jump start your conversation into depths that are reserved for your deepest human relationship. The more you ask these questions, the more comfortable you will become asking and answering them.
When we don’t take the time to ask these deep, reflective questions, our marriage can become stale and lackluster. The Bible calls believers to a life of joy and peace. Prioritizing our marriage through date-night and intentional, soul-nourishing communication brings joy and peace to the relationship.
Louise has been married for 15 years and has four children. She loves to write and edit, but her full-time job is homeschooling her children in Colorado Springs.