For too many marriages, the word "schedule" is a four-letter word. No, you say, it’s got eight letters…but you know what I mean. Every time we think of schedules we think of work and obligations, time set aside and duties fulfilled. Schedules fill our calendars. That’s exactly why we cringe when we hear the word.
On the other hand, schedules help to order our lives, focus our attention, and in many cases, they make us more efficient. Here are 4 ways to improve communication in your marriage. Hint: it'll take getting on a schedule.
4 ways to improve communication in your marriage
1) Schedule conversation each day.
Some call this “couch time” or “couple time.” It’s not just talking. It is actually sharing events of your day, the ups and downs, the emotions, circumstances, and how they impacted each of you. Start with 10–15 minutes each day. In this way, you are connecting through meaningful communication and the root word of communication is actually “uni” or oneness!
2) Schedule dates every week.
Maybe this ends up being bi-weekly. These can be elaborate, expensive, simple, or free but you need to be intentional. Learn to set aside regular times to get away from the normal routine of each day. You don't have to set an agenda, simply enjoy each other’s company and do activities that relax, refresh, energize and connect you, or all the above!
3) Schedule downtime.
I can hear you now, “Right!” That’s exactly why you need to schedule a time to kick back and let go of the non-stop demands! Regularly schedule some downtime together where you both simply rest. This works wonders for personal and relational health and you’ll be surprised at how much better you handle the demands when you return to them.
4) Schedule sex, seriously.
WHAT? You read it right. I know this doesn’t align with today’s culture of the amazing, impulsive, spur-of-the-moment, anytime sex that is supposed to be so great. Be honest…how often has that happened with children, budgets, work, in-laws, neighbors, church, and did I mention children?
If you’re able to have one of those moments…go for it! However, in the hustle and bustle of marriage, family, and life, think about it…which is exactly why scheduling is extremely helpful!
When we schedule anything, in this case, SEX, we actually think about it. Your mind is your greatest sex organ. When you set aside time to be intimate with your spouse, guess what happens? You got it. You think about that scheduled time, about being alone with your wonderful mate, and you think about your mate! You think about many wonderful things and you may even text a few things that help, and your spouse, to focus on the schedule. Try it and keep the commitment of the scheduled time and like many couples I’ve advised on this, you’ll thank me!
I mentioned earlier that “schedule” is not a four-letter word. Enjoy the time scheduled with your spouse and watch your good thoughts and feelings grow for each other and your marriage flourish.
Grace Marriage Mission
Review these four ways to improve your communication. Pick one to do over the next week.